Benedict XVI makes Devil's Bowels smell as roses in the Vatican
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The Devil’s bowels smell like roses in the Vatican http://jp2army.blogspot.com/2010/12/devils-bowels-smell-like-roses-in.html
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Eau de Pope; Scents, Sense and Nonsense
UNITED STATES
Minnesota SNAP
[note: This is satire.]
By Vinnie Nauheimer
St. Peter, “What is that smell?”
“Its pope Benedict XVI, Jesus,” said St. Peter
But he’s not supposed to die for another couple of minutes.
I know Jesus, but his cologne always gets there five minutes before he does!
“Its pope Benedict XVI, Jesus,” said St. Peter
But he’s not supposed to die for another couple of minutes.
I know Jesus, but his cologne always gets there five minutes before he does!
As philosophers remind us, in every piece of humor is some truth. What possible truths could be associated with an 84 year old pontiff having a custom blended scent made for him to wear as has recently been reported in the Italian press? Maybe the toilet water in the Vatican is backing up or maybe the stench of the rotting empire is too much to bear. Then again, maybe this is what happened:
The Story of how Sexual Abuse Became Policy
In the beginning there was clerical sexual abuse and then came all the hierarchal excuses for it. The excuses were nonsense and without merit. And darkness fell over the church, the victims and their families. And the victims, their families and the laity spoke among themselves telling each other, “This is a crock of shit and it stinks to high heaven.”
So the families went to the monsignor and said, “Clergy abuse is a bunch of crap and we can’t stand the stench!” And the monsignor went to the bishop and said to them, “Clerical abuse is like a container of excrement and a very strong one at that. The laity can’t stand it! The strong smell is driving people to leave the church.”
And the bishops pondered the excrement in sacred convocation and went to the Cardinals saying to them, “Clergy sexual abuse is a crock of fertilizer and the smell isn’t as bad as the laity would have us believe.
And the Cardinals discussed the problem among themselves and they said to one another, “Fertilizer is a good thing because it contains that which allows plant growth, provides food and nutrition.”
And the Cardinals went to the pope and said, “Clergy abuse will promote growth and provide nutrition. It will grow the church and benefit both the clergy and their flocks.” And the Pope looked upon the plan, saw that it was good, blessed it and the plan became policy.
This is how clergy abuse became policy and why the pope needs Toilette Water not Holy Water to keep the odor of corruption from his aging nostrils.
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Pope commissions custom-blended eau de cologne
Fragrance was concocted by Italian boutique perfume maker Silvana Casoli
Pope commissions custom-blended eau de cologne
Fragrance, which mixes hints of lime tree, verbena and grass, was concocted by Italian boutique perfume maker Silvana Casoli
Pope commissions custom-blended eau de cologne
Fragrance, which mixes hints of lime tree, verbena and grass, was concocted by Italian boutique perfume maker Silvana Casoli
Tom Kington
March 14, 2012, Rome
He is picky about his robes and his red shoes are tailor-made, but Pope Benedict has taken the meaning of bespoke to a whole new level by ordering a custom-blended eau de cologne just for him.
The fragrance, which mixes hints of lime tree, verbena and grass, was concocted by the Italian boutique perfume maker Silvana Casoli, who has previously created scents for customers including Madonna, Sting and King Juan Carlos of Spain.
Casoli said she had a "pact of secrecy" with her most illustrious client to date, and refused to release the full list of ingredients that had gone into his scent – but she did reveal that she had created a delicate smelling eau de cologne "based on his love of nature".
Casoli's scents first came to the attention of Vatican elders when she was commissioned to create fragrances for Catholic pilgrims to Santiago de Compostela in Spain. The two she supplied, Water of Faith and Water of Hope, were liked so much by local priests that they presented samples to the Pope, the Italian daily Il Messaggero reported. Alerted to Casoli's talents, Benedict put in a request for his own stock of scent. The Vatican has previously played down reports that the 84-year-old pontiff is a snappy dresser, arguing that his unusual hats, including a red panama, reflect his respect for papal tradition rather than an eye for fashion.
And anyone keen to smell like the pope will be disappointed. "I would not ever repeat the same perfume for another customer," Casoli told the Guardian.
She describes her ready-to-wear perfumes, which are accessible to all, as "made with noble and rare essences which leave an unforgettable olfactory message for him and her".
The line, which features "sensually elegant" men's fragrances, also contains a scent named Perfume of Italy, which sums up the smell of Italy's "seas, mountains and countryside", and a perfume called Cannabis, which is described as hypnotic.
One that bishops and cardinals might wish to avoid is Nude, a scent inspired "by the smell that only a woman's skin emanates in a state of ecstasy".
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